Crocodile Tears
There are times when you may see them cry, but you never see tears. This I have personally seen firsthand.
They get angry, they laugh, and they even mimic moments of sadness. But when it comes to true grief or remorse, what you are seeing are “crocodile tears.” They use these displays to gain sympathy—a form of manipulation disguised as love. It is just one of many toxic tactics used to keep you off-balance.
I think that after a while, we become indifferent to this behavior.
The Manipulation Playbook: Weddings, Births, Graduations and Funerals
You might see a narcissist show intense emotion during major life milestones, but is it genuine, or is it a calculated play right out of their playbook?
- At a Wedding: They aren’t moved by love or commitment. They are intoxicated by the spotlight, the crowd’s validation, and the successful acquisition of their partner. They are simply playing a role perfectly to feed their public image.
- The Birth of a Baby: A newborn is a major threat to a narcissist because attention shifts away from them. If they show pride, it’s transactional—they view the baby as an extension of themselves to brag about. Yet, they hate seeing their own children cry later on because a crying child requires selfless empathy, which they cannot provide.
- A Child’s Graduation: This is the ultimate stage for “achievement by association.” They aren’t celebrating the hard work, late nights, or the future of their child. Instead, they view the diploma as a direct reflection of their superior parenting. They will hijack conversations at the celebration to ensure every guest knows the success wouldn’t have been possible without them, effectively stealing their child’s moment.
- At a Funeral: This is where the crocodile tears truly come out. They mimic profound grief not to honor the lost soul, but to siphon sympathy and attention from the room. They want everyone to comfort them.
At least from what I have noticed, they look uncomfortable, a weird expression on their face when others show emotion. Have you encountered this in your own life?
It is completely acceptable to express your emotions; doing so does not make you weak. Your feelings are valid. In a healthy dynamic, it is important to share when you are feeling upset, sad, or angry. However, when dealing with a narcissist, those exact emotions are suppressed by the spouse or children because the narcissist completely invalidates them.
The Silent Treatment
When a narcissist is upset, they don’t communicate—they punish you with weaponized silence. This chilling shift is designed to make you feel anxious and responsible for their mood. Before you know it, you find yourself walking on eggshells, apologizing for things you didn’t even do just to break the ice and restore the peace.
This is why an abuser’s tears are never genuine. They are a calculated weapon, frequently used during the “hoover phase” when the silent treatment stops and they attempt to pull you back into the cycle with a deeply dramatic, fake apology.
I hope this helps you make sense of the emotional void behind their mask. Have you witnessed these fake displays or experienced the silent treatment? Please feel free to like, share, and comment below to share your story—let’s keep getting our lives back together.
