The Emotional Rollercoaster of Narcissistic Abuse

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Stop The Ride!

The emotions you encounter when you are with a toxic or narcissistic individual can change from one minute to the next. You could be in a great mood until they come home, or if you are visited by a toxic family member who only complains as soon as they set foot into your home. Your great day is now ruined.

It is as if they are having a bad day; you should too. They thrive on chaos, stressing you out! It is exhausting!

This soon causes you anxiety, you don’t know who you will get when the door opens.

They hate seeing you show emotion. When you cry, they cannot be bothered.

The toll it takes on you is something you can’t explain.

If you ever go on vacation with them, it can be stressful. Diving dangerously, knowing that it makes you anxious. They don’t care. They become dismissive, yell at you, or begin gaslighting you, especially around friends.

They want you to feel how they feel deep down.

I was devastated after the discard, betrayed, and angry. Did I want revenge? At first, yes, but what good would that do? As he was packing his things, I never tried to stop or beg him to stay. I am pretty sure that after a while of the mind games, the cheating, the belittling. I was done with all of it.

I began to focus on myself, something you never have the chance to do when you are with a Narcissist. You were too busy jumping through hoops to make peace, to try making them happy, that was a losing battle.

The Discard was and still is a blessing, a gift.

I found peace, especially after going no contact, blocking them on social media, and deleting the photos of us. I used the gray rock method whenever I had to be face-to-face with them.

I watched a video today that I wanted to share. I think you will enjoy it. It’s by Mel Robbins

Going Beyond No Contact

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Lessons Learned After Narcissistic Discard

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Mistakes Were Made

It is hard to believe it has been several years since the discard. I never would have imagined being in that situation, ever. But it was a repeated lesson I have finally learned from. In past relationships, I was used and taken advantage of. I had zero boundaries.

I know that a person will show their true self, and it is my fault that I ignored all those red flags; trust me, there were many!

When a person wants to know everything there is to know about you yet reveals little about themselves, be the better person and walk away.

The fast-moving relationship, yeah, ignored that too.

We encounter many life lessons; this one is one of the toughest.

The toxic person in our life gained trust and knew how to manipulate.

They put on a good show.

They love chaos! Purposely start an argument so you get upset. A person who genuinely loves and respects you will not do that; they will work the problem out with you, not walk away.

The narcissist is incapable of love. We love the person we thought they were, but we must remember that the most important person to love is ourselves.

You were always there for them, but were they ever truly there for you?

What you offered them was never enough; they raised the bar higher.

Anything they did for you came with strings attached.

They never appreciate what you do for them. My ex took me for granted, never felt bad about it, no apologies. Just bread crumbs in hopes that the mistreatment would be forgotten.

Before they discard you, they act indifferent, yet want friendship. They only want something from you to continue their twisted game.

Why would you want to be friends with someone like that?

The big lesson: You deserve better! Once you understand all the Red Flags, your gut instinct will never be ignored again.

This was not your fault.

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Does A Narcissist Show Emotion?

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Crocodile Tears

There are times when you may see them cry, but you never see tears. This I have personally seen firsthand.

They get angry, they laugh, and they have some moments of sadness. Everyone does, crying. This is what is commonly known as crocodile tears. They use it to gain sympathy, a form of manipulation. One of the many tactics used.

I think that after a while, we become indifferent to this behavior.

At least from what I have noticed, they look uncomfortable, a weird expression on their face when others show emotion. They hate seeing their own children cry. Have you encountered this?

It is completely acceptable to express your emotions; doing so does not make you weak. Your feelings are valid. If you are feeling upset, sad, or angry, it’s important to share those feelings with them. However, in the case of a Narcissist, such emotions are often suppressed by their spouse or children, as the Narcissist tends to invalidate these feelings.

If they are upset, they become very quiet, and we find ourselves apologizing.

The abuser’s tears are not genuine; as mentioned, they are a manipulation tactic. This tactic can also be employed during the hoover phase when they offer a fake apology.

I hope that this helped give you a better understanding of this topic.

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