Tag: Narcissistic Manipulator

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The Best Gift The Narcissist Gave You

Man and Woman holding masks, hiding gifts behind them

Gifts That Come At A Cost

: This post may contain trigger warnings:

Gifts are typically given for special occasions or “just because.” We appreciate the gesture, the meaning, the thought, and the special care behind them.

Oftentimes, however, the gifts you give get ignored or cast aside – especially when they come from the heart or are handmade. You put substantial thought and care into creating something, but it goes unappreciated. This is a calculated move designed to hurt you.

“What broke you also revealed you to yourself.”

The Hidden Lessons In The Pain

When you are deep in the fog of a toxic relationship, it’s hard to see the lessons hidden within the pain.

With a narcissist, however,  they don’t see it as love or being thoughtful. They think you have a hidden agenda when it is actually them who hold one.

A gift from a Narcissist has strings attached; they want something from you, whether it be sex, high praise, validation, or status.

It is a form of Narcissistic Abuse. They purposely leave a price tag on a present or give you something that they actually want. Sometimes this can backfire, and you end up truly liking the item, which often confuses them.

To them, affection is a transaction. They demand monetary evidence of your love, yet they lack the capacity for genuine gratitude. Your generosity is never seen as a gesture of kindness, but merely as a tool to fuel their need for external validation and status.

When empathy is absent, a gift becomes a calculation. They view your offerings through the narrow lens of status and monetary gain, using them as a temporary ego boost. This shallow perspective is exactly why their ‘gifts’ always feel so empty—and why the true gift is actually your eventual exit from their world.

Read more: The Best Gift The Narcissist Gave You

Your Freedom Is The Ultimate Gift

Honestly, the best gift they can give you is your freedom, your peace, and the return of your sanity. This is regained either by the Narcissistic Discard or by you choosing to leave and block contact, including social media.

Never tell them, or anyone, what you are doing, unless it is someone you trust completely.

In the beginning, you were blindsided, and the gifts were part of love bombing and manipulation—a form of control.

If you are currently in the post-discard phase or have walked away, remember this: it wasn’t you; they realized you were too strong and could no longer be controlled.

This is when you begin to understand that you were the one who loved them for who they were, or you thought they were.

Something they never experienced and never will again. The gift you gave was unconditional, something that can’t be replaced or replicated. You gave it to the wrong person.

Reclaiming Your Worth

Their gift to you was learning what you will and will not tolerate in your life or in a future partner.

You are worthy of so much more. They were never willing to give you what you truly deserved.

To help make sense of these confusing dynamics, watch this insightful breakdown on what a narcissist’s gifts actually mean, and how to protect your peace.

What Narcissists’ Gifts Actually Mean – The Royal We

I hope this post helped! Please leave a comment, follow me on social media, like or share this post to help spread the message of healing.

You are not alone.

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Grief

Reflective woman in a green sweater sitting by a rainy cafe window with a coffee mug and notebook.
Reflective woman in a green sweater sitting by a rainy cafe window with a coffee mug and notebook.


Mourning What You Thought Was Real

We often associate grief with death. But death isn’t the only kind of loss that can shatter us. The end of a relationship, a marriage especially one you believed was rooted in love, can be just as devastating—sometimes even more so. It’s not just the person you’re grieving; it’s the dreams, the plans, and the version of yourself you thought you were when you were with them.

How Does A Narcissist Process Grief?


Does the narcissist grieve the loss the way you do?
The painful truth is that, for a narcissist, grief doesn’t look the same. While you are mourning the loss of the connection, the shared memories, and the future you envisioned, they are more often mourning the loss of control, supply, and validation. They grieve the loss of what you provided for their ego, not the loss of you as a person.
This doesn’t mean they never feel anything at all. It means their experience of grief is often self-focused: they may grieve being alone, losing admiration, or no longer having someone to blame, manipulate, or lean on emotionally. What they don’t feel is the deep, soul-level grief that comes from truly loving and losing someone.


For a deeper understanding of the psychology behind this behavior, watch clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani explain whether a narcissist truly experiences loss.

For more of her videos you can find them here https://www.youtube.com/@DoctorRamani
For more on how a narcissist tries to regain control when you pull away, read my post “The Sneaky Way a Narcissist Tries to Control You.”


When the Narcissist Discards You


When you endure the Narcissist Discard it is devastating; you may feel like your entire world has collapsed. The person you loved—the one you believed saw you, understood you, and cared for you—seems to move on as if you never existed. They might flaunt a new relationship, rewrite the story to make you the villain, or act like your pain is an overreaction.


If you find yourself grieving the relationship or the person you thought they were, know this: you’re not just grieving them. You are grieving the version of yourself that you were when you were with them. You are grieving the love you gave so freely, the effort you poured into trying to make it work, and the hope that someday they might finally see your worth and change.


Some days, you might find yourself replaying every moment—wondering what was real and what was a lie. You may question your own judgment, your value, and your ability regain trust.


As you move through the stages of grief—denial, anger, depression, and acceptance—you’ll begin to see something you couldn’t see in the fog of it all: you weren’t unlovable; you were simply loving someone who could not love you in the way you deserved. You weren’t too sensitive; you were reacting to being emotionally neglected, invalidated, or abused.


Your grief is valid. Your pain is real. And your healing is possible.


If this article resonated with you or helped you make sense of your experience, please leave a comment below—sharing your story can help others realize they aren’t alone.

Don’t forget to like and share this post, and connect with me on social media for future content on healing and moving forward.

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When You Are Through With The Narcissistic Games

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The Truth Appears

Over time, as you learn about Narcissism, the emotional abuse you suffered, A clearer understanding emerges.

After a while, something just clicks! It was all a game to them, and you’ve had enough.

You understand that you were not the problem or the fixer of their past trauma, and not their Parent. Of course, the even bigger realization is that you were not equal partners.

To the Narcissist, you were only a supply source. You gave everything, love, attention, and you were there for them. What did you get in return?

This realization stirs up many emotions, and you may have found that trying to please the Narcissist has left you depleted both mentally and physically. That is the goal of the Narcissist.

The Bread Crumbing and the Narcissistic Fog were used to keep you confused. In the early stages of the relationship, things seemed off, but you didn’t recognize it as a form of abuse.

Now that they are out of your life, and the fog has lifted, you can do what makes you happy.

What the Narcissist never counted on was you getting stronger. Educating Yourself about Narcissistic Abuse

They may try to come around to see if they can manipulate you. If you are feeling bitter or angry towards them. Remember, this is not someone who genuinely loves or cares for you. They showed you all along how they really felt about you.

You look at them differently now, the games they played with you are over as far as you’re concerned.

It seems as though you are indifferent towards them; you show no emotion, provide no explanations, and share nothing about yourself or your personal life. To you, they feel like a stranger because the person you believed them to be was a lie. The mask they wore concealed their true feelings.

Learn to love yourself. Know how you want and expect to be treated, because you never want to experience Narcissistic Abuse ever again.

Feel free to contact me with any questions! My email and social media links are available on my website.

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The Benefits of Journaling

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Part Of The Process Post-Narcissist Discard

If you have never started a journal, now is a great time to start! Journaling doesn’t require much time; it can be done first thing in the morning or before you sleep. There is no specific time to journal, and it is very therapeutic.

If you go to counseling, they may suggest starting a journal.

I have included some suggested links if you are wondering where to start. A good quality, comfortable writing pen is essential; you don’t need anything fancy. The link to the pens I personally use is below.

The same applies to your journal, whether it is hardcover, It can even be a simple notebook.

The point is. It is what you are comfortable with.

https://amzn.to/4jHj2ba

https://amzn.to/4ktIMrE

Writing about what you experienced with the Narcissist can bring out a range of emotions that were most likely kept hidden. Sometimes writing about what you endured, and yes, you endured a lot!

With time and reflection, a clearer understanding will emerge. It’s all part of the journey.

Let those feelings out.

When you are done journaling, just be sure to keep it in a safe place!

I know that journaling is not for everyone, and it is okay. There are other tools you can use in the healing process, maybe a new hobby or interest that you put aside when you were with the Narcissist?

I hope this post was helpful to you in some way. Please, like, share, comment, and follow me on social media to stay updated, so you never miss future content!

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Traits Of A Female Narcissist

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The Red Flags

A Female Narcissist lacks empathy, much like a Male Narcissist. They are entitled and accusatory as well as manipulative, once they know they have you. The destruction begins, and it can start off subtly. Pretty soon, you lose your sense of self.

The Female Narcissist could be a boss, co-worker, or family member.

The traits are similar to a Male Narcissist. They crave attention, seeking validation, blame shifting, and admiration.

They are competitive, especially with other females. They are highly critical, just never be critical of them!

They do not take responsibility for their actions, have a victim mentality, seeking sympathy, and use people to get what they want, which can also include sex.

Below is a very detailed look and a better understanding of The Female Narcissist

What You Need To Look For:

Video Courtesy of : Richard Grannon

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The Healing Journey After Narcissistic Abuse

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Finding Yourself Again

Healing from a breakup is the worst, but healing from a Narcissistic Discard is an entirely different situation.

When you are in a relationship with a kind, caring, loving partner and you break up, yes, you need time to heal. It is painful and sad, but you understand what went wrong as you start to heal and grow from the experience. You learn from it.

A narcissistic or toxic relationship is excruciating once it is over. You gave them so much while receiving little or nothing in return. You are left depleted of energy, emotion, and self.

There is no equal give and take.

Looking back, you find these to be true; they changed who you were as a person, isolated you from your friends, family, and your support system. They might move you away from them. This is so the Narcissist has complete control over you.

Healing takes time; there is no rushing through it. You need to grieve since this feels like a death. Whether it be a relationship or marriage. Each step can often feel like a step back; this is part of the process. Do not give up.

Being with them was a lesson; you were mistreated, devalued, ignored, taken for granted, and ridiculed. You did not know what Narcissistic Abuse was, what the red flags were.

You will slowly begin to understand that what you experienced was toxic, and you will never want to make that same mistake again.

A Narcissist does not feel any remorse for what they did to you, and will never get closure. You will give yourself closure when you understand why this happened.

This hard lesson has made you stronger, and you will begin to notice what red flags to watch for.

Part of the healing process is journaling. A great tool to gain some understanding of what you experienced.

Counselling is also very beneficial. Look for one who specializes in trauma and psychological abuse. Here is a link: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists

One day, you will find that you no longer look back and wonder what they are doing, who they are with.

It is no longer your problem.

Let us work together to raise awareness about Narcissistic Abuse!

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The Emotional Rollercoaster of Narcissistic Abuse

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Stop The Ride!

The emotions you encounter when you are with a toxic or narcissistic individual can change from one minute to the next. You could be in a great mood until they come home, or if you are visited by a toxic family member who only complains as soon as they set foot into your home. Your great day is now ruined.

It is as if they are having a bad day; you should too. They thrive on chaos, stressing you out! It is exhausting!

This soon causes you anxiety, you don’t know who you will get when the door opens.

They hate seeing you show emotion. When you cry, they cannot be bothered.

The toll it takes on you is something you can’t explain.

If you ever go on vacation with them, it can be stressful. Diving dangerously, knowing that it makes you anxious. They don’t care. They become dismissive, yell at you, or begin gaslighting you, especially around friends.

They want you to feel how they feel deep down.

I was devastated after the discard, betrayed, and angry. Did I want revenge? At first, yes, but what good would that do? As he was packing his things, I never tried to stop or beg him to stay. I am pretty sure that after a while of the mind games, the cheating, the belittling. I was done with all of it.

I began to focus on myself, something you never have the chance to do when you are with a Narcissist. You were too busy jumping through hoops to make peace, to try making them happy, that was a losing battle.

The Discard was and still is a blessing, a gift.

I found peace, especially after going no contact, blocking them on social media, and deleting the photos of us. I used the gray rock method whenever I had to be face-to-face with them.

I watched a video today that I wanted to share. I think you will enjoy it. It’s by Mel Robbins

Going Beyond No Contact

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Narcissistic Manipulator

The Puppet Master

Let’s face it, a Narcissist or a toxic person can be great at distorting the truth; they take pleasure in manipulating anyone, even their own family, but of course, if you are out of the “situationship” with the narcissist, have emerged from the Narcissistic Fog or maybe even dodged The Love Bombing Stage. You know what I am talking about.

If you don’t, you soon will!

A Narcissist loves the chase, the control they can have over you, every aspect of your life. It even affects your decision-making as well as your memory. Personal space or privacy? That does not exist to the Narcissist, but they will demand it from you, going so far as to lock you out of your own room.

They control who you talk to, isolate you from friends and family. It feels like you are being held prisoner, oftentimes in your own home.

They demand your undivided attention, adoration, and praise. If you are using your phone, taking a call. They want to know who you are talking to. Try to do that to a Narcissist and you will be met with a temper tantrum or silent treatment, another manipulation tactic.

Another common tactic used for manipulation is Gaslighting, which leaves you to question your own reality.

Once you start realizing your worth and the abuse you have encountered, you will understand that what you have gone through was domestic abuse. Begin the process of educating yourself about Narcissistic Abuse Awareness, The Red Flags to look out for, and regain your independence, your sense of self.

This has made you a stronger person, someone who will not be manipulated, used, ridiculed, or taken advantage of. Ever again.

You are an incredible person, deserving of so much better. You matter.

Remember that.

I hope this information has been helpful. Feel free to share it with anyone who might find it informative.

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