Tag: NarcissisticAbuseIsAbuse

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What Angers the Narcissist?

Are They Jealous?

A Narcissist can be bothered by the most minute things, and it appears out of nowhere. Their moods can be compared to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

They think that they are superior to everyone else and they hate being corrected, when they get constructive criticism, or being wrong. Especially from a higher authority.

Competitive? Definitely! They hate to lose!

A Narcissist is like a child, wanting all the toys, when they get something new, this is their opportunity to brag about it too. Something they love to do. A lot.

They hate when people are late.

You will notice when they get behind the wheel, severe road rage! That can be incredibly scary!

They hate it when you are sick, it means that they have to take on the responsibility of caring for you as well as your children, if you have them. If your children get sick, the reaction is the same.

The Narcissist is not the focus; this makes them angry.

If you or your children have made any major accomplishments, this angers them to the point where they may belittle anything to try to upset you. A time in your life when you should be proud. Yes, they are not only jealous of you; they are also envious of your children.

Anytime you don’t pay attention to them, they get angry.

The emphasis should consistently be on them. Remember, they thrive on attention, adoration, admiration, and constant validation.

They get angry if you leave them alone, or when you ask for help, even to fix something. You will get excuses or a tantrum. Yet they make you dependent on them.

Early in the relationship, they were more than willing to help you, but as time went on, in their eyes, you became a burden to them, and that made them angry.

My motto was, if you want something done, figure it out and do it yourself.

A narcissist reacts with anger when they are exposed; they despise being discovered.

When you tell them No and set clear boundaries,  going No Contact.

When you move on and are happy.

You are not asking for too much, they just offer you too little. The bare minimum.

Their irrational behavior makes you anxious and feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells or merely keeping the peace.

Their anger issues only get worse with age, along with their sense of entitlement or delusion.  I  did a post about this, The Aging Narcissist

Anyone experiencing Narcissistic Abuse may be familiar with this.

Please don’t blame yourself. 

If you are in a Narcissistic Abusive situation, please seek immediate assistance by contacting your local police or domestic violence hotline.

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When You Are Through With The Narcissistic Games

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The Truth Appears

Over time, as you learn about Narcissism, the emotional abuse you suffered, A clearer understanding emerges.

After a while, something just clicks! It was all a game to them, and you’ve had enough.

You understand that you were not the problem or the fixer of their past trauma, and not their Parent. Of course, the even bigger realization is that you were not equal partners.

To the Narcissist, you were only a supply source. You gave everything, love, attention, and you were there for them. What did you get in return?

This realization stirs up many emotions, and you may have found that trying to please the Narcissist has left you depleted both mentally and physically. That is the goal of the Narcissist.

The Bread Crumbing and the Narcissistic Fog were used to keep you confused. In the early stages of the relationship, things seemed off, but you didn’t recognize it as a form of abuse.

Now that they are out of your life, and the fog has lifted, you can do what makes you happy.

What the Narcissist never counted on was you getting stronger. Educating Yourself about Narcissistic Abuse

They may try to come around to see if they can manipulate you. If you are feeling bitter or angry towards them. Remember, this is not someone who genuinely loves or cares for you. They showed you all along how they really felt about you.

You look at them differently now, the games they played with you are over as far as you’re concerned.

It seems as though you are indifferent towards them; you show no emotion, provide no explanations, and share nothing about yourself or your personal life. To you, they feel like a stranger because the person you believed them to be was a lie. The mask they wore concealed their true feelings.

Learn to love yourself. Know how you want and expect to be treated, because you never want to experience Narcissistic Abuse ever again.

Feel free to contact me with any questions! My email and social media links are available on my website.

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The Healing Journey After Narcissistic Abuse

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Finding Yourself Again

Healing from a breakup is the worst, but healing from a Narcissistic Discard is an entirely different situation.

When you are in a relationship with a kind, caring, loving partner and you break up, yes, you need time to heal. It is painful and sad, but you understand what went wrong as you start to heal and grow from the experience. You learn from it.

A narcissistic or toxic relationship is excruciating once it is over. You gave them so much while receiving little or nothing in return. You are left depleted of energy, emotion, and self.

There is no equal give and take.

Looking back, you find these to be true; they changed who you were as a person, isolated you from your friends, family, and your support system. They might move you away from them. This is so the Narcissist has complete control over you.

Healing takes time; there is no rushing through it. You need to grieve since this feels like a death. Whether it be a relationship or marriage. Each step can often feel like a step back; this is part of the process. Do not give up.

Being with them was a lesson; you were mistreated, devalued, ignored, taken for granted, and ridiculed. You did not know what Narcissistic Abuse was, what the red flags were.

You will slowly begin to understand that what you experienced was toxic, and you will never want to make that same mistake again.

A Narcissist does not feel any remorse for what they did to you, and will never get closure. You will give yourself closure when you understand why this happened.

This hard lesson has made you stronger, and you will begin to notice what red flags to watch for.

Part of the healing process is journaling. A great tool to gain some understanding of what you experienced.

Counselling is also very beneficial. Look for one who specializes in trauma and psychological abuse. Here is a link: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists

One day, you will find that you no longer look back and wonder what they are doing, who they are with.

It is no longer your problem.

Let us work together to raise awareness about Narcissistic Abuse!

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Narcissistic Manipulator

The Puppet Master

Let’s face it, a Narcissist or a toxic person can be great at distorting the truth; they take pleasure in manipulating anyone, even their own family, but of course, if you are out of the “situationship” with the narcissist, have emerged from the Narcissistic Fog or maybe even dodged The Love Bombing Stage. You know what I am talking about.

If you don’t, you soon will!

A Narcissist loves the chase, the control they can have over you, every aspect of your life. It even affects your decision-making as well as your memory. Personal space or privacy? That does not exist to the Narcissist, but they will demand it from you, going so far as to lock you out of your own room.

They control who you talk to, isolate you from friends and family. It feels like you are being held prisoner, oftentimes in your own home.

They demand your undivided attention, adoration, and praise. If you are using your phone, taking a call. They want to know who you are talking to. Try to do that to a Narcissist and you will be met with a temper tantrum or silent treatment, another manipulation tactic.

Another common tactic used for manipulation is Gaslighting, which leaves you to question your own reality.

Once you start realizing your worth and the abuse you have encountered, you will understand that what you have gone through was domestic abuse. Begin the process of educating yourself about Narcissistic Abuse Awareness, The Red Flags to look out for, and regain your independence, your sense of self.

This has made you a stronger person, someone who will not be manipulated, used, ridiculed, or taken advantage of. Ever again.

You are an incredible person, deserving of so much better. You matter.

Remember that.

I hope this information has been helpful. Feel free to share it with anyone who might find it informative.

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Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse No Contact -vs- Gray Rock

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Get Your Life Back!

As you begin the healing process and the narcissistic fog begins to lift, you can now focus on yourself and getting your life back. One of the vital steps you need to take is to go no contact. This might not be easy if you have children together, but some apps can be used as a safer way to communicate.

Block them on social media. You do not need to know what they are doing, and they do not need to know what you are doing. It is no one’s business.

This is part of going no contact.

Now, if you do have to meet with them, using gray rock is best. Be stoic. Give short, emotionless responses. They will seek a reaction from you. Do not give them one.

Stay strong.

The next step is not easy, but necessary. I say this because you may be filled with uncertainty, or maybe thinking they will come back. After what they put you through, do you really want that?

Remove them from your contacts.

Removing their contact information is liberating; you won’t see their name pop up when your phone rings. Instead, ask them to correspond via email and set strict boundaries regarding this.

I hope this information has been helpful. If you plan to leave a toxic situation, please do NOT inform the other party. Please do not hesitate to reach out for help, your close friends, family, even law enforcement your own safety and well being is important.

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