Tag: NarcissistRedFlags

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The Benefits of Journaling

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Part Of The Process Post-Narcissist Discard

If you have never started a journal, now is a great time to start! Journaling doesn’t require much time; it can be done first thing in the morning or before you sleep. There is no specific time to journal, and it is very therapeutic.

If you go to counseling, they may suggest starting a journal.

I have included some suggested links if you are wondering where to start. A good quality, comfortable writing pen is essential; you don’t need anything fancy. The link to the pens I personally use is below.

The same applies to your journal, whether it is hardcover, It can even be a simple notebook.

The point is. It is what you are comfortable with.

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Writing about what you experienced with the Narcissist can bring out a range of emotions that were most likely kept hidden. Sometimes writing about what you endured, and yes, you endured a lot!

With time and reflection, a clearer understanding will emerge. It’s all part of the journey.

Let those feelings out.

When you are done journaling, just be sure to keep it in a safe place!

I know that journaling is not for everyone, and it is okay. There are other tools you can use in the healing process, maybe a new hobby or interest that you put aside when you were with the Narcissist?

I hope this post was helpful to you in some way. Please, like, share, comment, and follow me on social media to stay updated, so you never miss future content!

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Lessons Learned After Narcissistic Discard

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Mistakes Were Made

It is hard to believe it has been several years since the discard. I never would have imagined being in that situation, ever. But it was a repeated lesson I have finally learned from. In past relationships, I was used and taken advantage of. I had zero boundaries.

I know that a person will show their true self, and it is my fault that I ignored all those red flags; trust me, there were many!

When a person wants to know everything there is to know about you yet reveals little about themselves, be the better person and walk away.

The fast-moving relationship, yeah, ignored that too.

We encounter many life lessons; this one is one of the toughest.

The toxic person in our life gained trust and knew how to manipulate.

They put on a good show.

They love chaos! Purposely start an argument so you get upset. A person who genuinely loves and respects you will not do that; they will work the problem out with you, not walk away.

The narcissist is incapable of love. We love the person we thought they were, but we must remember that the most important person to love is ourselves.

You were always there for them, but were they ever truly there for you?

What you offered them was never enough; they raised the bar higher.

Anything they did for you came with strings attached.

They never appreciate what you do for them. My ex took me for granted, never felt bad about it, no apologies. Just bread crumbs in hopes that the mistreatment would be forgotten.

Before they discard you, they act indifferent, yet want friendship. They only want something from you to continue their twisted game.

Why would you want to be friends with someone like that?

The big lesson: You deserve better! Once you understand all the Red Flags, your gut instinct will never be ignored again.

This was not your fault.

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Does A Narcissist Show Emotion?

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Crocodile Tears

There are times when you may see them cry, but you never see tears. This I have personally seen firsthand.

They get angry, they laugh, and they even mimic moments of sadness. But when it comes to true grief or remorse, what you are seeing are “crocodile tears.” They use these displays to gain sympathy—a form of manipulation disguised as love. It is just one of many toxic tactics used to keep you off-balance.

I think that after a while, we become indifferent to this behavior.

The Manipulation Playbook: Weddings, Births, Graduations and Funerals

You might see a narcissist show intense emotion during major life milestones, but is it genuine, or is it a calculated play right out of their playbook?

  • At a Wedding: They aren’t moved by love or commitment. They are intoxicated by the spotlight, the crowd’s validation, and the successful acquisition of their partner. They are simply playing a role perfectly to feed their public image.
  • The Birth of a Baby: A newborn is a major threat to a narcissist because attention shifts away from them. If they show pride, it’s transactional—they view the baby as an extension of themselves to brag about. Yet, they hate seeing their own children cry later on because a crying child requires selfless empathy, which they cannot provide.
  • A Child’s Graduation: This is the ultimate stage for “achievement by association.” They aren’t celebrating the hard work, late nights, or the future of their child. Instead, they view the diploma as a direct reflection of their superior parenting. They will hijack conversations at the celebration to ensure every guest knows the success wouldn’t have been possible without them, effectively stealing their child’s moment.
  • At a Funeral: This is where the crocodile tears truly come out. They mimic profound grief not to honor the lost soul, but to siphon sympathy and attention from the room. They want everyone to comfort them.

At least from what I have noticed, they look uncomfortable, a weird expression on their face when others show emotion. Have you encountered this in your own life?

It is completely acceptable to express your emotions; doing so does not make you weak. Your feelings are valid. In a healthy dynamic, it is important to share when you are feeling upset, sad, or angry. However, when dealing with a narcissist, those exact emotions are suppressed by the spouse or children because the narcissist completely invalidates them.

The Silent Treatment

When a narcissist is upset, they don’t communicate—they punish you with weaponized silence. This chilling shift is designed to make you feel anxious and responsible for their mood. Before you know it, you find yourself walking on eggshells, apologizing for things you didn’t even do just to break the ice and restore the peace.

This is why an abuser’s tears are never genuine. They are a calculated weapon, frequently used during the “hoover phase” when the silent treatment stops and they attempt to pull you back into the cycle with a deeply dramatic, fake apology.

I hope this helps you make sense of the emotional void behind their mask. Have you witnessed these fake displays or experienced the silent treatment? Please feel free to like, share, and comment below to share your story—let’s keep getting our lives back together.