Tag: PsychologicalAbuse

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The Benefits of Journaling

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Part Of The Process Post-Narcissist Discard

If you have never started a journal, now is a great time to start! Journaling doesn’t require much time; it can be done first thing in the morning or before you sleep. There is no specific time to journal, and it is very therapeutic.

If you go to counseling, they may suggest starting a journal.

I have included some suggested links if you are wondering where to start. A good quality, comfortable writing pen is essential; you don’t need anything fancy. The link to the pens I personally use is below.

The same applies to your journal, whether it is hardcover, It can even be a simple notebook.

The point is. It is what you are comfortable with.

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Writing about what you experienced with the Narcissist can bring out a range of emotions that were most likely kept hidden. Sometimes writing about what you endured, and yes, you endured a lot!

With time and reflection, a clearer understanding will emerge. It’s all part of the journey.

Let those feelings out.

When you are done journaling, just be sure to keep it in a safe place!

I know that journaling is not for everyone, and it is okay. There are other tools you can use in the healing process, maybe a new hobby or interest that you put aside when you were with the Narcissist?

I hope this post was helpful to you in some way. Please, like, share, comment, and follow me on social media to stay updated, so you never miss future content!

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The Sneaky Way a Narcissist Tries to Control You

Can We Be Friends?

The one question you thought you would never be asked by your ex, but here it is: “Can we be friends”? This is the person who tried to destroy you, mentally and physically. Treated you as if you meant nothing to them. Now they want to be friends?

Let us be honest, do you believe this is genuine?

This is just their way of continuing to control you, manipulate you. See if you will take them back. This is someone you want nothing to do with.

You don’t need them; if anything, they need you. It is only for supply.

If you are worried about being alone, you already were when you and the Narcissist were together. They were never there for you.

They are with their new or recycled supply, perhaps even married to them, and they claim to be happy. Are they trying to convince you, or themselves?

Besides, you are moving forward, taking care of yourself, and shifting the focus to what you want to do. You have a newfound freedom and a clear understanding of what you experienced when you were with the Narcissist.

I hope this helped you in some way. If you are going through this right now, you are stronger because of what you experienced. You will be okay.

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Vacations With A Narcissist

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Far From Paradise

When we think of vacation, we envision peace, quiet, relaxation, without stress or worry.

But this is far from stress-free when you are on vacation with a Narcissist.

They are always in a hurry, making sure everything is packed, and they want to get to the destination early to avoid traffic. If you are causing them to fall behind schedule, you will hear about it the entire ride there.

They drive to endanger, most times well over the speed limit, to get you and everyone else in the vehicle stressed. If you tell them to slow down, they snap at you, so now the entire ride is nothing but silence.

Once you are on vacation, the Narcissist is nice to you and your children, acting as if they were not yelling and screaming not that long ago.

They are very friendly to the staff where you are staying, as well as to complete strangers.

You feel out of place as they relax on the sand after enjoying the ocean and playtime with the kids. You stayed back with everyone’s belongings and the perfect spot. The Narcissist says very little to you as they fall asleep.

Luckily you brought something to read.

As the vacation progresses, the kids are having fun, but you realize it is getting closer to returning home. Part of you does not want to leave. The ride home will be the same: stressful. But you go about the rest of the time there, having fun with the kids, this time walking ahead of the Narcissist, something they do not like. But they are not making a big deal about it.

Pretty soon, it was time to pack and return home, and the ride home was uneventful.

Right now, you wish you could be back on vacation instead.

This time, without the Narcissist.

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Gaslighting, Empty Promises, Toxic Tools of a Narcissist

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More Mind Games

The term Gaslighting is used often, but what does it mean? It is a form of emotional abuse where you are left to question your own reality. You may hear from people who have had a boss or Doctor use that on them, so it is not only the toxic spouse, sibling, family member, or a trusted friend.

Some terms you will hear: “I never said that.” They will lie to you about something and change the subject, hoping to divert the conversation.

You made me act that way is a scapegoat tactic, putting the blame on the narcissist’s intended target, you.

Birthdays and anniversaries are often postponed for another day, but never dismiss their birthday celebration.

They make promises with no intent of keeping them. This could also include them saying they promise to get help or promise to do better.

More Lies.

They claim you lack spontaneity and fail to make plans. When you share your ideas, they often disregard them, only to later present them as their own. They take pleasure in claiming credit for others’ ideas.

When they plan something you are disinterested in, you reluctantly agree to avoid conflict or a temper tantrum. Then you are constantly asked, “Are you having fun?” Of course, there are some occasions when they take you someplace and you have fun.

Below is a video about the signs of Gaslighting, so you will know what to watch out for.

Signs Of Gaslighting

Video Courtesy: Psych2Go

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Narcissistic Manipulator

The Puppet Master

Let’s face it, a Narcissist or a toxic person can be great at distorting the truth; they take pleasure in manipulating anyone, even their own family, but of course, if you are out of the “situationship” with the narcissist, have emerged from the Narcissistic Fog or maybe even dodged The Love Bombing Stage. You know what I am talking about.

If you don’t, you soon will!

A Narcissist loves the chase, the control they can have over you, every aspect of your life. It even affects your decision-making as well as your memory. Personal space or privacy? That does not exist to the Narcissist, but they will demand it from you, going so far as to lock you out of your own room.

They control who you talk to, isolate you from friends and family. It feels like you are being held prisoner, oftentimes in your own home.

They demand your undivided attention, adoration, and praise. If you are using your phone, taking a call. They want to know who you are talking to. Try to do that to a Narcissist and you will be met with a temper tantrum or silent treatment, another manipulation tactic.

Another common tactic used for manipulation is Gaslighting, which leaves you to question your own reality.

Once you start realizing your worth and the abuse you have encountered, you will understand that what you have gone through was domestic abuse. Begin the process of educating yourself about Narcissistic Abuse Awareness, The Red Flags to look out for, and regain your independence, your sense of self.

This has made you a stronger person, someone who will not be manipulated, used, ridiculed, or taken advantage of. Ever again.

You are an incredible person, deserving of so much better. You matter.

Remember that.

I hope this information has been helpful. Feel free to share it with anyone who might find it informative.

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