Tag: Toxic Tools of a Narcissist

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Gaslighting, Empty Promises, Toxic Tools of a Narcissist

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More Mind Games

The term Gaslighting is used often, but what does it mean? It is a form of emotional abuse where you are left to question your own reality. You may hear from people who have had a boss or Doctor use that on them, so it is not only the toxic spouse, sibling, family member, or a trusted friend.

Some terms you will hear: “I never said that.” They will lie to you about something and change the subject, hoping to divert the conversation.

You made me act that way is a scapegoat tactic, putting the blame on the narcissist’s intended target, you.

Birthdays and anniversaries are often postponed for another day, but never dismiss their birthday celebration.

They make promises with no intent of keeping them. This could also include them saying they promise to get help or promise to do better.

More Lies.

They claim you lack spontaneity and fail to make plans. When you share your ideas, they often disregard them, only to later present them as their own. They take pleasure in claiming credit for others’ ideas.

When they plan something you are disinterested in, you reluctantly agree to avoid conflict or a temper tantrum. Then you are constantly asked, “Are you having fun?” Of course, there are some occasions when they take you someplace and you have fun.

Below is a video about the signs of Gaslighting, so you will know what to watch out for.

Signs Of Gaslighting

Video Courtesy: Psych2Go

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One Side Effect that you notice post-Narcissist Discard

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How A Narcissist Affects Your Health

There are many symptoms you may or may not notice during a toxic relationship or marriage to a Narcissist.

Until the relationship finally ends.


The dismissive behavior, where they use those subtle jabs, is usually present throughout the relationship. Sleep disturbances and lack of sleep occur when they either talk to you, say something to upset you, or start a fight, knowing it will bother you. They will, of course, expect sex. While offering no apology.

Anxiety and Depression, this happens when you are constantly trying to make them happy, keep the peace, while you’re thoughts and feelings are being dismissed or ignored. Feeling like you are always walking on eggshells.

Accusations of your unfaithfulness, which are actually confessions. Causing you to defend yourself, as it lowers your self-esteem.

The Narcissist hates when you are sick or when your children are. The narcissist dislikes it when you or your children are not feeling well, as this requires effort from them; they do not show compassion or care. This behavior is off-putting.

I remember when they were not feeling well, dropping everything to tend to their needs. Even taking them to the hospital. But when I had surgery or a sick child in the hospital, did you think they stayed?

You experienced unexplained aches, pains, and exhaustion. This is a noticeable side effect that gradually diminishes as you heal after the end of the relationship.

Once the toxic person is removed from your life, you start to feel better and gain clarity on everything you experienced. Regaining your strength, self-worth, and confidence is a gradual process that helps eliminate self-doubt. It takes time to rebuild your strength, self-worth, and confidence while removing self-doubt.

You never look at them the same way ever again. It was you who had the caring, compassionate understanding, the love. This, you now realize, was never given to you in return.

They just watched as you slowly fell apart.

What they offered may have seemed significant because we believed the love they showed was real. We now know the truth. The most powerful gift of all was the awakening to your own worth—the undeniable truth that you are deserving of far more than they could ever provide. You gave them something they could never reciprocate. Genuine love.

I hope this post helps you gain more clarity.

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