Tag: NarcissisticAbuseAwareness

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Hiding Behind The Mask

Nothing is as it appears

It is the beginning of the relationship, and everything is going great. You spend time together, and interestingly enough, you share the same interests. What could be more perfect?

It appears to those around you the relationship is moving very fast, but they do not tell you that. This is a form of control, but is misunderstood by you as them to appear loving and caring, far from it!

As the relationship progresses you meet their family and friends and all appears to be going well, aside from the subtle insults disguised as compliments. For those who have experienced this, you totally understand what I mean.

They will comment on how you are dressing, how you act, and your appearance. These are also the things that they seemed to like about you.

The insults become increasingly hurtful and hateful behind closed doors. In front of others, they look playful and are thought to be cute or funny.

Once the mask begins to slip, they can no longer control you and probably already have someone else. They will discard you at the worst possible time, remember, this was the plan all along.

If you decide to leave them, never tell them your plan. They will use whatever leverage they have to guilt you into staying. Get help, go no contact, if you can, and go as far away as possible. Somewhere safe.

They are not sorry, they will never change, and the problem is never addressed, instead, you will be blamed again. They only get worse and so does the abuse.

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The Doormat

Photo by Andrew Neel on Pexels.com

Feeling Used

I heard this comment before and was taken aback. It is one that I had never heard before until much later.

It makes so much sense now.

I was the narcissist’s doormat. Nothing I did was appreciated, it was expected. Anxiety was through the roof and a sense of dread washed over me as I saw his vehicle approach the driveway, never knowing if I would be met with Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde.

Looking back on the early stages of the situationship before marriage, I was being controlled and manipulated, but I did not know it at the time. You may be wondering, How did you not know? It was combined with charm, and there was lots of it—with a bit of guilt.

I realize now besides being manipulated I was used, and taken advantage of. At some point, I mentally checked out. Unfortunately, I was still being walked all over.

I let it happen because, in some strange way, I thought it was love. I was very mistaken.

After he grew tired of breadcrumbing. He decided to walk away after we spent many years together. But when he left, I never went after him, to make him stay. I was hurt and devastated but then I came to realize that the marriage only meant something to me. It was one-sided. He was never really there for me like I had been for him. He took so much, yet gave so little in return.

Now there is peace. I am no longer a doormat, a sounding board. That is someone else’s problem now.

I dodged a bullet.

So, as you grieve, understand that it is completely normal to do that. You are mourning what you thought was real. You are no longer the doormat, their sounding board.

Give yourself time. You will learn and grow from this experience and are so much more deserving of love and respect.

I hope this helped in some way.

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When The Fog Lifts

Was it all in my head?

During the relationship, or as I refer to it as the “Situationship” many things happen, the memories are only bits and pieces and not all with a warm fuzzy feeling.

You were emotionally and physically exhausted and your health was suffering, as well as your mood.

You felt alone, isolated, and miserable, constantly jumping through hoops to please them or simply to keep the peace, only that felt like a never-ending battle.

Once you either find the courage and inner strength to leave, or you were discarded. You begin to go through the may stages of grief, because in a sense, it was a death.

You begin to realize how much you allowed yourself to put up with the disrespect, the lies, empty promises, and cheating. The list goes on.

Bit by bit you will find that some memories come back, thankfully, not all at once!

The realization of the mental abuse causes you to feel ashamed, embarrassed, and of course anger, all completely normal reactions.

So much of your life was stolen from you. It’s realized now that it was all a lie.

The other realization was that how you treated people and how you were treated made you, not yourself. The Abuse made you a shell of your former self.

Now you understand, you were manipulated, isolated from your Family, Friends and picked apart by the Narcissist. You felt as if you were walking on eggshells, never knowing what kind of mood you were about to face.

Now, it is time to shift the focus to you, and your mental and physical health. Reconnect with friends and family. Go to counseling, maybe even keep a journal, and start a hobby. All the things you could not do while you were with the Narcissist.

Now go take back your independence!

Below is a video by NarcDaily his videos are very informative and have helped me as well.

The Narcissistic Fog

I hope this post was helpful to you!

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Behind Every Picture, there is a story

Look Closely

There will be a time when you look through old photos of you and your ex. maybe thinking about how happy you were, but look again, closely. Were you genuinely happy? This may not be understood now, especially if this breakup is recent. But let me tell you, behind the eyes it can reveal so much.

The Narcissist’s expression in photos is very telling as well. It almost looks like they are putting on a show, fooling everyone.

As you begin to heal from the emotional abuse, mind games, and trauma bonding, you’ll gradually gain a clearer understanding of your experiences over time. Looking at photos will no longer trigger painful memories, and you’ll understand that the relationship or marriage was never genuine; it was only perceived that way by you.

Yes, this is a painful lesson, but one that you will grow from, understand, and know your worth. It will be an awakening, a realization that you deserve much better.

You were in a fog for so long and now you moved through it, stronger, aware of the red flags to watch for.

The person in the photo is not the person you are right now. You have changed and grown and gained knowledge about Narcissism.

I hope this has helped in some way. Please Like, Comment, Share, Follow, and Subscribe so you never miss future content.

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